Movie Reviews
Jun. 4th, 2012 09:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iariaI watched a ton of movies this weekend - 7 in total! I don't feel inspired to write reviews for any of them so a couple thoughts instead in the order they were watched.
2 Headed Shark Attack: This feels weird but - I had fun watching this. Which isn't to say that it is in any way a good movie because it's not. This was objectively the worst of the B-movies I watched - the story was really dumb and predictable, there so much ridiculousness and stupidness, plus the acting was truly terrible - however of the three movies that would qualify as B-movies this one was also the one I had the most fun watching. There was no attempt at being a serious movie - or there was but it was such a failure that it ended up being fun to watch. This would be the perfect movie to watch with a bunch of friends to laugh at and mock both of which I spent a lot of doing while watching. It was just so over the top in horribleness and silliness that it came all the way around back to something that was enjoyable to watch.
- At one point one girl finds a gun and hides it in her bag and I thought for sure that plot point would come into play in some significant way later but nope - she just pulls it out and shoots the shark and it does nothing.
- I was surprised that Charlie O'Connell and Carmen Electra's married couple weren't actually the main characters like I thought they were going to be.
Women: Surprisingly damn good! So most of the female characters spent the movie in bikinis, there was a topless makeout scene between two girls and a guy, and a lot of the girls spent most of the time running around uselessly. But then most of the guys were topless and running around uselessly as well. We get a fairly even distribution of male and female characters and the portrayal of them.
We get Laura, the co-captain, who is implied to be good at her job and isn't sexualised like the other women before her death. The protagonist Kate is a good person if prickly, who keeps it together, is pretty competent and is quick-thinking. She's actually given some semblance of a back-story and is clearly the hero of the tale. Her friend Kirsten is also shown to be smart and brave. Plus this movie passes the Bechdel Test.
Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus: This one tried to be a more serious movie but it was just not happening. It actually has one serious actor - Robert Picardo - which was a little head-scratching, as well as Jaleel White, whom I haven't seen in anything in awhile. This movie had the same ridiculousness as the above movie but more so in some ways - like the supposed size of the shark (though that seemed to change - from a fin bigger than a battleship to the shark being much smaller), and they also apparently sank Panama and Hawaii?
Women: Well, Jaleel's character's loving fiance is killed off in the beginning to give him angst, there is a female company representative who brings the croc hunter into the Congo to kill the giant crocosaurus while wearing boardroom attire (high heels, tight black dress) which was really annoying, and then there's Agent Hutchinson who seems like she should work for SHIELD even though she doesn't actually seem to do much. I am glad she was in there regardless. Although at one point - when they're about to enter a cave, she takes off her jacket for no reason and goes from professionally dressed in a suit to black pants and nude tank top. That made me shake my head.
Super 8: This was pretty good. I really liked the kids and their friendship. I liked the Joe/Alice bonding. I think emotionally them bonding was really well done and believable. I also really liked the scene between Joe/Charles were Charles reveals he likes Alice too. I liked that they showed the kid's completed film at the end. There were a number of funny moments and of the kids Cary and his obsession with fire was certainly the funniest. I did like the story. I found the doctor surviving the head on collision with the train too ridiculous to believe however. The kids I'd buy, the doctor no.
My biggest issue was at the end and Joe's big confrontation with the alien. It was Alice who was taken and thus Alice who already had a telepathic bond with it, and despite Joe knowing the background of capture/torture, it should have been Alice who stepped forward. At least first. I mean they could have easily had Joe fill Alice in on what was going on when he rescued her if it was important, or they even could have had both step forward. While I realise it was a big moment for Joe, the culmination of his story, in the big story it just really annoyed me. I mean it's not even as if he was the only one who had experienced loss - the film established fairly well the connection between Joe and Alice and her own sad home life.
Women: Not much really. Alice is our main female presence and she does get her own story a bit though it doesn't really feel complete and she doesn't actually do anything. Still I did like her. Of course it's Joe's mother who dies. Oh, and there is Charles mother who gets to be maternal and that's it.
The Three Musketeers: It was okay but I thought it would be more fun. It's not really anything I have the urge to watch again. I'm not entirely sure where the movie failed for me. Arthos and D'Artagan as the heroes get the most focus and I think I'd have preferred if more of it was on Arthos. D'Artagan was really the hero but he was only okay - his meetings with the other three were funny - but I found him really cocky and kind of annoying at times. Also his romance with Constance was meh. King Louis was very much portrayed as a foolish and fopish child which was an interesting take. He wasn't unlikable but why exactly should we want him ruling the country instead of Richelieu who seemed to be doing most of the work of keeping the country together and running? There were a number of good actiony scenes and some parts that were fairly funny.
The movie had a number of logic issues - like how the hell the Musketeers thought they would get away stealing Buckingham/England's airship without starting a war with England. Or why exactly Richelieu apparently had more personal guards then the King. Or where exactly all the other Musketeers were and what they were doing. Aramis (?) implies that they've been disbanded when he and D'Artagnan meet but then the meeting with the king very much implies that they're not, plus who are all those background guards in blue? Uh - really, the king isn't going to notice Richelieu's giant ass airship crashed on top of one of his cities?
Women: Milady I liked except that we never get any sense of why she's doing anything she's doing. She spends the whole movie backstabbing her (male) allies, even the Cardinal in the end, but we're not shown why. I do like that as Aramis says when she jumps from the ship - she lived by her own terms. And I liked how competent she was at what she did - both manipulating people and all her physical acts. Lady-in-waiting Constance was in herself an okay character but I didn't like her romance with D'Artagnan where it ended up feeling like she was his final reward. The Louis/Anne worked better. Queen Anne I liked - it was clear from the 'punishment' scene that she was pretty smart, smarter and more politically aware certainly than Louis. It did make her later confrontation with Richelieu dumber however. Why would she basically tell him she knew the truth? It made her look unnecessarily dumb and he could have found out another way.
There are actually two fics I want to read now.
1) I kind of want Milady/Buckingham post-movie hate sex now. Mostly because of that last scene between them. Did Buckingham always know she was betraying him? When did he figure it out and if it was before the attack on him why did he continue his relationship with her? While watching I was confused at that scene because based on what happened I don't think things point to Milady betraying him which makes me think now that he had to have known beforehand.
2) I want Milady/Athos post-movie fic. I found their relationship potentially the most interesting with the sincere love and then betrayal. I think it would be believable to say that Milady had feelings for Athos and their final scenes really sold them to me. Specifically two moments - when he first approaches her in the carriage and tells her 'don't' when she points the gun at him (the way he says it, he doesn't want to know that she would kill him by her own hand and when he has the confirmation he is angry and possibly even more hurt than her original betrayal) and then when he is about to kill her and she says his name and jumps. His expression afterward and him telling Aramis that she did it for him because she knew it would destroy him to kill her...I really loved those moments.
It makes me really want a post-movie fic about them. I think I could buy them getting back together (though, man, the trust issues) if say they ended up forced to work together. I do think that Athos's emotions upon seeing her alive would prevent him from trying to kill her again at least immediately. I mean in a way he killed her once already, he knows what it's like having her dead, and I don't really think it was a relief for him. I'd love to see their relationship post-movie explored.
Just Wright: I liked it. I really liked Leslie and Queen Latifah was really good. The Leslie/Scott relationship was believable and enjoyable to watch. Scott began a relationship with Morgan based on shallow reasons (largely looks) and I liked how over the movie he realised how they really didn't fit together but never in a way that said there was something wrong with Morgan. The storyline was very tropey but I love tropes so that worked for me. I like that in the end Leslie doesn't only get her man but that she succeeds professionally as well, on her own merits, and gets her dream job. I like how from the beginning till the end she stays herself and never even considers changing who she is. I liked her relationship with her parents and godsister. One moment that never really got mentioned again but really worked and resonated with me was the scene before the birthday party where Leslie's mother brings out her mother's earrings and then gives them to Morgan. Leslie is so clearly very touched at the gesture and then very hurt by her mom assuming she wouldn't want them and giving them to Morgan. But it's also clear that neither her mom or Morgan realise it and I just really felt for her. It made me want a scene where she was wearing the earrings.
Women: Excellent. I loved how the relationship between Leslie and Morgan played out. So much love. There were definitely tensions between them but it wasn't over a man and it never interfered with the fact that they clearly loved each other. Neither of them turned to jealous backstabbing over Scott. I love that Leslie was sincerely happy for Morgan when things appeared to be working out for her and Scott and there was no passive-aggressiveness towards her over it. I love that when Morgan realised that Scott loved Leslie she wasn't angry or bitchy but just accepted it with a smile and in fact tried to help get them together. I also like that at no time did Morgan know that Leslie liked Scott - she asked at the beginning and accepted Leslie's denial and even during her return to the house scene there was no sense that she knew the truth. I like that the Leslie/Morgan relationship is important and doesn't really change by the end.
Rango: This was really funny! I was a bit surprised. I liked it. I spent a lot of time laughing. Like, the robber's hideout action scene was hilarious in parts. I liked the story as well - of Rango finding his place. There were a couple places it hit my embarrassment squick but this is a movie I'd watch again.
Women: Mainly there is Beans. I liked her. She spends most of her time trying to push the plot along and I liked her forcing her way into the posse and her role during their attack on the groundhogs. I liked her attitude. There was also Priscilla who was cute, the fox who didn't have much of a role (it would have been cool if she'd been/become the heroes inside mole), and a couple other incidental background women.
Mammoth: Mainly I was bored but this could have been timing as well. It was late and I was tired plus I didn't find it very funny not even inadvertently. The movie was very predicable - I called all the deaths and how they'd happened before they did.
- The alien aspect of it was unexpected.
- The CGI on the mammoth was horrid.
- There were the usual logic and characterisation issues.
- I did like the relationship between Jack and her grandfather Simon. It was the relationship that had the most weight and believability.
- I didn't really like the protagonist Frank which was one of the biggest flaws for me. He was pretty weird at points but that only made him more interesting and could have been endearing. What really turned me off him was the diner scene where he came off as ridiculous and petulant. All I could think was why the hell did Agent Powers care about his opinion or even need his help?
- Why the hell would NPO send only two agents to deal with alien contact?
- The only thing I found off about the Sheriff's death was the fact that it was off screen. What was up with that?
- What the hell was up with the coroners hand? That made no sense to me. The mammoth was reanimated because it had an alien in it. How the hell was the hand reanimated? And apparently the coroner/sheriff have had it for 25 years? Is it supposed to be another alien? It's never mentioned again. Also it being the coroners lost hand that was 'donated' makes no sense either.
- The best part of the movie for me was the short scene after the end where we get a short 'out-take' of the scene with the hand where Powers shoots it with her special gun except this time it turns the hand into charcoal and off-screen the director is all "god damn it who took it off stun!" That made me laugh.
Women:Jack was okay. Not Summer Glau's best work. And of course once again it's the mother who dies. Agent Powers was good. Professional and focused on the problem. I like that they didn't go the love interest route like I was expecting. The only issue I had was her randomly shedding clothes throughout the movie. She starts in a black suit/white button up, then for no reason removes her coat in the cornfield (seriously, I don't get the reasoning. All it did was made her easy to see), then when they got to the factory she removed her white button-up and spent the rest of the movie in a dark tank top. Again for no reason I could see except for the 'sex appeal' and the cleavage shots that followed. They could have at least had her shirt partially destroyed at some point to give some reason for it. Granted she is back to button up at the end.
This movie did make me think post movie thoughts so there is that. So: 25 years later Powers is the head of the NPO/secret government agency and Jack is now a scientist - perhaps working for NPO maybe not, either way she's studying cryogenics to bring back her beloved grand-father - when someone frees Simon and thus the alien. Powers and Jack and say a random agent work to track down the alien/Simon and stop it.
2 Headed Shark Attack: This feels weird but - I had fun watching this. Which isn't to say that it is in any way a good movie because it's not. This was objectively the worst of the B-movies I watched - the story was really dumb and predictable, there so much ridiculousness and stupidness, plus the acting was truly terrible - however of the three movies that would qualify as B-movies this one was also the one I had the most fun watching. There was no attempt at being a serious movie - or there was but it was such a failure that it ended up being fun to watch. This would be the perfect movie to watch with a bunch of friends to laugh at and mock both of which I spent a lot of doing while watching. It was just so over the top in horribleness and silliness that it came all the way around back to something that was enjoyable to watch.
- At one point one girl finds a gun and hides it in her bag and I thought for sure that plot point would come into play in some significant way later but nope - she just pulls it out and shoots the shark and it does nothing.
- I was surprised that Charlie O'Connell and Carmen Electra's married couple weren't actually the main characters like I thought they were going to be.
Women: Surprisingly damn good! So most of the female characters spent the movie in bikinis, there was a topless makeout scene between two girls and a guy, and a lot of the girls spent most of the time running around uselessly. But then most of the guys were topless and running around uselessly as well. We get a fairly even distribution of male and female characters and the portrayal of them.
We get Laura, the co-captain, who is implied to be good at her job and isn't sexualised like the other women before her death. The protagonist Kate is a good person if prickly, who keeps it together, is pretty competent and is quick-thinking. She's actually given some semblance of a back-story and is clearly the hero of the tale. Her friend Kirsten is also shown to be smart and brave. Plus this movie passes the Bechdel Test.
Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus: This one tried to be a more serious movie but it was just not happening. It actually has one serious actor - Robert Picardo - which was a little head-scratching, as well as Jaleel White, whom I haven't seen in anything in awhile. This movie had the same ridiculousness as the above movie but more so in some ways - like the supposed size of the shark (though that seemed to change - from a fin bigger than a battleship to the shark being much smaller), and they also apparently sank Panama and Hawaii?
Women: Well, Jaleel's character's loving fiance is killed off in the beginning to give him angst, there is a female company representative who brings the croc hunter into the Congo to kill the giant crocosaurus while wearing boardroom attire (high heels, tight black dress) which was really annoying, and then there's Agent Hutchinson who seems like she should work for SHIELD even though she doesn't actually seem to do much. I am glad she was in there regardless. Although at one point - when they're about to enter a cave, she takes off her jacket for no reason and goes from professionally dressed in a suit to black pants and nude tank top. That made me shake my head.
Super 8: This was pretty good. I really liked the kids and their friendship. I liked the Joe/Alice bonding. I think emotionally them bonding was really well done and believable. I also really liked the scene between Joe/Charles were Charles reveals he likes Alice too. I liked that they showed the kid's completed film at the end. There were a number of funny moments and of the kids Cary and his obsession with fire was certainly the funniest. I did like the story. I found the doctor surviving the head on collision with the train too ridiculous to believe however. The kids I'd buy, the doctor no.
My biggest issue was at the end and Joe's big confrontation with the alien. It was Alice who was taken and thus Alice who already had a telepathic bond with it, and despite Joe knowing the background of capture/torture, it should have been Alice who stepped forward. At least first. I mean they could have easily had Joe fill Alice in on what was going on when he rescued her if it was important, or they even could have had both step forward. While I realise it was a big moment for Joe, the culmination of his story, in the big story it just really annoyed me. I mean it's not even as if he was the only one who had experienced loss - the film established fairly well the connection between Joe and Alice and her own sad home life.
Women: Not much really. Alice is our main female presence and she does get her own story a bit though it doesn't really feel complete and she doesn't actually do anything. Still I did like her. Of course it's Joe's mother who dies. Oh, and there is Charles mother who gets to be maternal and that's it.
The Three Musketeers: It was okay but I thought it would be more fun. It's not really anything I have the urge to watch again. I'm not entirely sure where the movie failed for me. Arthos and D'Artagan as the heroes get the most focus and I think I'd have preferred if more of it was on Arthos. D'Artagan was really the hero but he was only okay - his meetings with the other three were funny - but I found him really cocky and kind of annoying at times. Also his romance with Constance was meh. King Louis was very much portrayed as a foolish and fopish child which was an interesting take. He wasn't unlikable but why exactly should we want him ruling the country instead of Richelieu who seemed to be doing most of the work of keeping the country together and running? There were a number of good actiony scenes and some parts that were fairly funny.
The movie had a number of logic issues - like how the hell the Musketeers thought they would get away stealing Buckingham/England's airship without starting a war with England. Or why exactly Richelieu apparently had more personal guards then the King. Or where exactly all the other Musketeers were and what they were doing. Aramis (?) implies that they've been disbanded when he and D'Artagnan meet but then the meeting with the king very much implies that they're not, plus who are all those background guards in blue? Uh - really, the king isn't going to notice Richelieu's giant ass airship crashed on top of one of his cities?
Women: Milady I liked except that we never get any sense of why she's doing anything she's doing. She spends the whole movie backstabbing her (male) allies, even the Cardinal in the end, but we're not shown why. I do like that as Aramis says when she jumps from the ship - she lived by her own terms. And I liked how competent she was at what she did - both manipulating people and all her physical acts. Lady-in-waiting Constance was in herself an okay character but I didn't like her romance with D'Artagnan where it ended up feeling like she was his final reward. The Louis/Anne worked better. Queen Anne I liked - it was clear from the 'punishment' scene that she was pretty smart, smarter and more politically aware certainly than Louis. It did make her later confrontation with Richelieu dumber however. Why would she basically tell him she knew the truth? It made her look unnecessarily dumb and he could have found out another way.
There are actually two fics I want to read now.
1) I kind of want Milady/Buckingham post-movie hate sex now. Mostly because of that last scene between them. Did Buckingham always know she was betraying him? When did he figure it out and if it was before the attack on him why did he continue his relationship with her? While watching I was confused at that scene because based on what happened I don't think things point to Milady betraying him which makes me think now that he had to have known beforehand.
2) I want Milady/Athos post-movie fic. I found their relationship potentially the most interesting with the sincere love and then betrayal. I think it would be believable to say that Milady had feelings for Athos and their final scenes really sold them to me. Specifically two moments - when he first approaches her in the carriage and tells her 'don't' when she points the gun at him (the way he says it, he doesn't want to know that she would kill him by her own hand and when he has the confirmation he is angry and possibly even more hurt than her original betrayal) and then when he is about to kill her and she says his name and jumps. His expression afterward and him telling Aramis that she did it for him because she knew it would destroy him to kill her...I really loved those moments.
It makes me really want a post-movie fic about them. I think I could buy them getting back together (though, man, the trust issues) if say they ended up forced to work together. I do think that Athos's emotions upon seeing her alive would prevent him from trying to kill her again at least immediately. I mean in a way he killed her once already, he knows what it's like having her dead, and I don't really think it was a relief for him. I'd love to see their relationship post-movie explored.
Just Wright: I liked it. I really liked Leslie and Queen Latifah was really good. The Leslie/Scott relationship was believable and enjoyable to watch. Scott began a relationship with Morgan based on shallow reasons (largely looks) and I liked how over the movie he realised how they really didn't fit together but never in a way that said there was something wrong with Morgan. The storyline was very tropey but I love tropes so that worked for me. I like that in the end Leslie doesn't only get her man but that she succeeds professionally as well, on her own merits, and gets her dream job. I like how from the beginning till the end she stays herself and never even considers changing who she is. I liked her relationship with her parents and godsister. One moment that never really got mentioned again but really worked and resonated with me was the scene before the birthday party where Leslie's mother brings out her mother's earrings and then gives them to Morgan. Leslie is so clearly very touched at the gesture and then very hurt by her mom assuming she wouldn't want them and giving them to Morgan. But it's also clear that neither her mom or Morgan realise it and I just really felt for her. It made me want a scene where she was wearing the earrings.
Women: Excellent. I loved how the relationship between Leslie and Morgan played out. So much love. There were definitely tensions between them but it wasn't over a man and it never interfered with the fact that they clearly loved each other. Neither of them turned to jealous backstabbing over Scott. I love that Leslie was sincerely happy for Morgan when things appeared to be working out for her and Scott and there was no passive-aggressiveness towards her over it. I love that when Morgan realised that Scott loved Leslie she wasn't angry or bitchy but just accepted it with a smile and in fact tried to help get them together. I also like that at no time did Morgan know that Leslie liked Scott - she asked at the beginning and accepted Leslie's denial and even during her return to the house scene there was no sense that she knew the truth. I like that the Leslie/Morgan relationship is important and doesn't really change by the end.
Rango: This was really funny! I was a bit surprised. I liked it. I spent a lot of time laughing. Like, the robber's hideout action scene was hilarious in parts. I liked the story as well - of Rango finding his place. There were a couple places it hit my embarrassment squick but this is a movie I'd watch again.
Women: Mainly there is Beans. I liked her. She spends most of her time trying to push the plot along and I liked her forcing her way into the posse and her role during their attack on the groundhogs. I liked her attitude. There was also Priscilla who was cute, the fox who didn't have much of a role (it would have been cool if she'd been/become the heroes inside mole), and a couple other incidental background women.
Mammoth: Mainly I was bored but this could have been timing as well. It was late and I was tired plus I didn't find it very funny not even inadvertently. The movie was very predicable - I called all the deaths and how they'd happened before they did.
- The alien aspect of it was unexpected.
- The CGI on the mammoth was horrid.
- There were the usual logic and characterisation issues.
- I did like the relationship between Jack and her grandfather Simon. It was the relationship that had the most weight and believability.
- I didn't really like the protagonist Frank which was one of the biggest flaws for me. He was pretty weird at points but that only made him more interesting and could have been endearing. What really turned me off him was the diner scene where he came off as ridiculous and petulant. All I could think was why the hell did Agent Powers care about his opinion or even need his help?
- Why the hell would NPO send only two agents to deal with alien contact?
- The only thing I found off about the Sheriff's death was the fact that it was off screen. What was up with that?
- What the hell was up with the coroners hand? That made no sense to me. The mammoth was reanimated because it had an alien in it. How the hell was the hand reanimated? And apparently the coroner/sheriff have had it for 25 years? Is it supposed to be another alien? It's never mentioned again. Also it being the coroners lost hand that was 'donated' makes no sense either.
- The best part of the movie for me was the short scene after the end where we get a short 'out-take' of the scene with the hand where Powers shoots it with her special gun except this time it turns the hand into charcoal and off-screen the director is all "god damn it who took it off stun!" That made me laugh.
Women:Jack was okay. Not Summer Glau's best work. And of course once again it's the mother who dies. Agent Powers was good. Professional and focused on the problem. I like that they didn't go the love interest route like I was expecting. The only issue I had was her randomly shedding clothes throughout the movie. She starts in a black suit/white button up, then for no reason removes her coat in the cornfield (seriously, I don't get the reasoning. All it did was made her easy to see), then when they got to the factory she removed her white button-up and spent the rest of the movie in a dark tank top. Again for no reason I could see except for the 'sex appeal' and the cleavage shots that followed. They could have at least had her shirt partially destroyed at some point to give some reason for it. Granted she is back to button up at the end.
This movie did make me think post movie thoughts so there is that. So: 25 years later Powers is the head of the NPO/secret government agency and Jack is now a scientist - perhaps working for NPO maybe not, either way she's studying cryogenics to bring back her beloved grand-father - when someone frees Simon and thus the alien. Powers and Jack and say a random agent work to track down the alien/Simon and stop it.
